A Mid Valentine's Day Dream
by Tamashi.no.Koe
Summary: Eiji with a love potion. Could there BE a worse situation?
1. A Mid Valentine's Day Dream

**A MID-VALENTINE'S DAY DREAM**

None of the regulars had ever taken Valentine's Day seriously. February 14th was just another school day to them. Just another day of tennis.

This year, things were no different. Eiji Kikimaru staggered into the boys changing room, exhausted as usual after all the intensive training.

Desperate for a drink, he rummaged in the box where all their bottles were kept.

All thoughts of thirst disappeared, however, when he spotted something strange in the corner of the box.

Taking the bottle out, he cautiously inspected the pale pink liquid inside it. The label on the bottle spelled out 'Inui'. Figures.

"Nya, whats this?" Obviously it was the latest mutation of Inui's Vegetable Juice.

The cat-like boy's curiosity bubbled over again. "Wonder what it does?" A mischievous twinkle sparked in his deep crimson eyes when he heard footsteps outside the changing room.

Quickly standing up, he turned to meet the new comer.

"Hey, Oishi!" Eiji pounced on his favourite doubles partner.

"Hi, Eiji," the worn out vice captain said weakly.

"You must be tired. Have a drink!" Eiji thrust out the bottle in his hand.

The unsuspecting Oishi took it without looking at the label, muttering "Thanks" before gulping it down.

Opening his eyes wide in anticipation, the trickster eagerly awaited for the juice to take effect, expecting a gagging, coughing and screaming session. If Oishi fainted, he reasoned, he'd have a whole night to recover. And while the results of drinking the infamous liquid were potentially catastrophic, it hadn't killed anyone. Yet.

Oishi lowered the bottle from his lips and a puzzled expression crossed his face as he stared at his friend.

"Well, how do you feel?" Eiji demanded excitedly.

A beatific smile spread across the vice-captain's face.

"Nya! Could it be true? Has Inui finally made a vegetable juice that actually tastes good?" Eiji gasped.

"Oh Eiji! You must be so tired after all those laps."

"Uh, sure," Eiji said, unsure of the tone Oishi was using.

"You poor thing! Look, you're sweating so hard." Oishi dabbed at Eiji's forehead with his towel.

"Wait--wait. Oishi, what are you doing?" He backed away in alarm.

The other boy grew tearful at once. "What, Eiji-chan? Don't you love me back?"

"WHAT?!" Take a moment to imagine the question marks exploding over his head.

"I love you so much, Eiji! Please don't push me away!"

"Nya?! Get away from me! What happened to you, Oishi? Was it something you ate? Was it--" Wait. The panicking boy looked at the bottle in his 'admirer's' hand.

"It's a love potion!"

Oishi seemed to have absorbed only one word out of the previous sentence. "Love? Oooh, does that mean you love me back now?"

"No! No! No! NOOO!" Eiji's flailing arms were the only things that kept Oishi from encasing him in a hug.

One of the hysterical boy's hand hit Inui's bottle, so that some of the pale pink substance squirted out, landing neatly into Oishi's grinning mouth.

"Whoa!" An invisible force threw Oishi backwards. "Hi, Eiji. Why are you shaking?"

"O--Oishi, you--you don't remember--? Um, nothing. I'm just tired, that's all."

Shrugging, Oishi left after waving good bye.

Eiji contemplated the love potion that Oishi had left behind. Compared to Inui's previous multi-coloured concoctions, it looked harmless enough.

"So you drink it and you fall in love with the next person you see. Another drink and you return to normal and forget what happened." Eiji's mischievous grin appeared again.

He could have some fun with this new toy.

"I wonder if there's any more." He would have to make sure that there was enough for everyone. He was so engrossed in his search that he didnt hear another person come into the room.

"What are you looking for?"

"Buchou? Oh, nothing, I've, um, lost my water bottle."

"Carry on then. Find it or it's 10 laps. Could you pass me mine?"

Eiji took up another bottle, still concentrated on his rummaging, and held a hand out.

"Too bad, there's no more here. But at least I've still got--Nya?!" The boy started at the bottle still in his hand. The bottle labeled 'Tezuka'.

"Buchou!"

Too late. Tezuka had already gulped a mouthful down.

"Yes, Eiji?" He started to turn his head.

"No! Buchou, don't look--"

"Tezuka, Eiji." At the last moment, Tezuka's line of sight was diverted to the doorway where a third person had appeared.

Eiji breath a heavy sigh of relief.

"Saa, still here? Don't mind me, I just want to get some water." Fuji smiled.

"Oh, ok, I'll get it for you!" Tezuka nearly knocked Eiji over getting to the water bottles.

"Thank you." Fuji started to drink, but stopped in mid-swallow, seeing Tezuka gazing at him with a most particular expression on his face.

"Is anything wrong, Tezuka?"

"Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are, Syusuke?" Tezuka asked.

Fujis eyes snapped open.

"And your eyes," the captian continued. "A brighter blue than sapphires, beautiful enough to drown in..."

This was too much even for the poker face Fuji. "Buchou, are you feeling all right?" He looked at Tezuka uncertainly.

"No, I'm not," Tezuka murmured in a condoling tone, stepping up to Fuji and taking his hands. "I won't be until you promise to spend the rest of your life with me in marriage..."

"Te--Tezuka--"

Giggling with glee, Eiji skipped off with the love potion, leaving a very confused tensai to fend for himself.

"What should I do now?" Ready to unleash chaos within Seigaku, Eiji scurried around in search of his next victim.

"Ah, I know. I'll make Ochibi fall in love with Sakuno. I can just see the look on her face!" He clapped his hands excitedly. "Or even better, Tomo!" Having once made up his mind, Eiji set out for the tennis courts.

"Eiji senpai! Water!" Momo gasped, rushing towards the red haired boy and snatching the bottle out of his hand.

"No! Momo, that's not for you--" Eiji made a lunge for it, but was distracted by a low hissing noise.

"Ill mannered baka..." Kaidoh intoned.

Momo spun around to confront him. "Why you..." his sentence died away as a look of bliss overtook him.

"Kaidoh...goddess, nymph, divine...to what, my dear, shall I compare thine eyne? Crystal is muddy, oh let me liss, those kissing cherries..."

"Nya? This love potion does a lot more than make you fall in love. I'm sure Momo has never read Shakespeare in his life!"

But Kaidoh didn't seem impressed by the beautiful poetry Momo was reciting as he tried to pull the irate Kaidoh into an embrace. "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU BAKA!"

"Oh, why rebuke you him that loves you so? Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe!"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Eiji shook his head. Some things never changed, whether people were in love or not.

Momo was still continuing his vain attempts to hug his hissing friend, while Kaidoh had the expression of someone who was being strangled.

"Pierced through the heart with your stern cruelty..."

"SHUT UP AND STOP SPEAKING IN RHYME!"

The fond bickering had broken out into a full fight. "Stop it, you two!" Eiji hurried to separate them, and managed to get an arm between the two boys. "Just--stop--it--Aahh!"

Momo gave him a sudden accidental kick in the shins and--yes, you've got it--Eiji tightened his grip on the bottle as he fought to regain his balance. A squirt caught Kaidoh full in the face.

"Ugh!" He grunted, screwing up his eyes. He blinked a few times in rapid succession and looked up before Eiji could blindfold him to see--

"Ochibi!"

Echizen glanced round at the pair of lovers battling it out, looking bored as usual, totally unaware of what was to befall him.

"Eiji senpai, Momo senpai...Kaidoh senpai, why are you...blushing?"

It was true. All eyes turned to Kaidoh as he allowed his face to grow red openly for the first time. Then, the size of Echizen's eyes was directly proportional to the increase in Kaidoh's ever widening grin.

"Love," Eiji concluded, half fearful of the potion he was holding, "is a powerful thing."

"Are you busy tonight, Ryoma? If you're not, let's go out for a romantic dinner. I'll cancel my evening training just for you."

A thunderstruck Echizen choked out "M--mada mada dane!" before kicking up the dust while he shot off in the direction he had come from.

Crestfallen, Kaidoh stared at the ground. "He thinks I'm not good enough for him. I must train harder."

"How now, my love? Why is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses there--"

"BAKA! IF YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SET ON HAUNTING ME, COULD YOU AT LEAST SPEAK ENGLISH?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" A voice blasted into Eiji's ear, causing him to jump.

"Aah!"

And then...

"AAAHHH!" A jerk of his hand had unlatched the lid of the love potion's bottle, splashing it all over his coach's face.

"EIJI!" A furious Coach Ryuzaki rounded on the helpless redhead. Of course...

"Can't you just yell at me for ruining your favourite sports jacket?" he whined pitifully.

"Why would I yell at you, my dear?" The smitten coach took his arm.

Eiji chuckled weakly. "Sensei, there is such a thing as an age difference, you know? And, um, arent you married?"

"I don't care, as long as I can be with you, sweetheart."

"AAARG!"

Back at the changing rooms...

"Tezuka, can we do something before we say our vows?" Fuji coaxed, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Of course we can! I'll do anything for you, my dear Syusuke! I'll climb Mount Everest, swim across the Pacific--"

"I'm sure you would, so why don't we warm up by playing a game of tennis?"

A bundle of nerves--recently known as the tensai of Seigaku--led Tezuka out onto the tennis courts.

If Fuji could knock the captain out with a ball, there just might be time to get away.

At the tennis courts...

"I have to find Ryoma and tell him how I feel!"

"Spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, unworthy as I am, to follow you--"

"Now, Eiji dear, would you like to stay the night at my place tonight? I'm sure I'll be able to find you a bed..."

"STOP IT!!"

Then it came to Eiji. "Oh, wait, I just have to reveres the effects of the love potion!" He peered into the bottle...

"WHAT?!" There were only a few drops left at the bottom.

**So, what should Eiji do next? Should he:**

**Find Inui and ask him for more potion? See Ending One: Ask For Help. Or figure that the effects of the potion shouldn't last too long, and go off to enjoy the fun? See Ending Two: Oh, What The Heck?**


	2. Ending One: Ask For Help

**Ending One: Ask For Help**

"INUI! INUI, HELP ME!" Eiji screamed, flipping the whole of Seigaku upside down to find the bespeckled boy. Being much younger, he had had a reasonably easy time outrunning his coach, but he was sure she'd find him soon.

The frantic boy burst into the science labs, and flung himself at a lone figure that was mixing any number of chemicals in a dark corner. "INUI, SAVE ME!"

"What's the matter, Eiji?" the other boy said calmly.

"Coach Ryuzaki--Momo--Kaidoh--Tezuka--YOUR LOVE POTION!"

"Love potion?" Inui blinked. "Ah yes, the love potion. What about it?"

"Tezuka's in love with Fuji, Momo's in love with Kaidoh who's in love with Echizen and Coach Ryuzaki is, um, in love with me." Eiji squirmed. "Anyway, there isn't any potion left to make everyone normal again, so I need you to make some more."

Any normal person would get the shock of their lives and fall over themselves making more potion, Eiji assumed. Only there was a slight hang up in that assumption, the hitch being the word 'normal'. And Inui Sadaharu didn't exactly fall into that category.

He smiled slyly. "It wears off eventually. I think. So why not just enjoy the fun?"

"WHAT?! Sorry, but the girl I want to go out with on my first date doesn't happen to be my COACH who is FIVE TIMES OLDER THAN ME! You HAVE to make more potion, and quick, Coach might be here any minute."

Watching the frantic boy in amusement, Inui's evil grin never left his face. "What if I've forgotten the recipe?"

Eiji stared at his teammate in disbelief. HOW anyone could label Fuji as sadistic when Inui was around...

"Wait it out, Eiji. Wait it out." Inui turned back to his work.

Helpless and desperate, Eiji steeled himself for carrying out Plan B, an alternate strategy he had thought up in case of an emergency. Such as Inui refusing to make more potion, which the redhead had actually half foreseen.

"Inui?"

"Yes? Arg!" The moment Inui had turned around in his seat, Eiji had caught hold of his face and poured the last drops of the love potion down his throat. He forced the data collectors face towards his own, so that the first person he saw after drinking had to be Eiji.

The cat like boy was getting very tired of people suddenly looking like they'd found an angel, or a detailed description of Tezuka's weaknesses, in this case. But he waited patiently for Inui to get on with his gasping in delight.

"Eiji! At last! We are alone! We can be together!"

Suddenly this didn't seem like such a good idea, but there was nothing to be done about it now except go on.

"You love me, right, Inui?"

"Yes, Eiji!"

"And you'd do anything for me, right, Inui?"

"Yes, Eiji!"

"Then could you make more love potion for me?_ PLEASE_?" Eiji whined.

"No, Eiji!"

"Huh? But I thought you said--"

"Once you have the potion you'll make everyone fall out of love again, and I want to love you for ever and ever!" Inui took the other boys hands. Eiji was so flabbergasted that he didn't object. While being in love vaporized your common sense, knowledge didn't seem to be affected.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY EIJI?" Coach Ryuzaki had crashed through the door and was all but breathing fire.

"What do you mean, _your_ Eiji?

Sighing, Eiji let them fight it out by themselves. He certainly hadn't prepared a Plan C. Looking over at the arguing pair, he had to appreciate how bizarre it was to have both a male and a female fighting over you. It would probably have been easier to deal with only one--

"That's it!" The light bulb flashed temporarily over Eiji's head. He grinned. It wasn't just Fuji who could talk his way into getting what he wanted.

"Inui," he whispered into the taller boys ear. "What are you thinking, wasting your time with her when we could be, um, could be...doing something together? Alone. Just make the love potion and she'll forget all about me and we can be together!" He had to clap his hands to his mouth to keep from vomiting or laughing, whichever came first.

Inui was gazing at him like he was a genius. "You're right," he gasped, as if no one in the whole history of the world had ever come up with a better idea. The invention of the light bulb? Who cares?

While Eiji consented to go out to dinner with his smitten coach, something he didnt really hate, the food wasn't bad, Inui set to work on the love potion.

"Here it is, Eiji-chan!" The bespeckled boy handed the juice over to Eiji outside the restaurant where Coach Ryuzaki was waiting.

"About time!" Eiji clutched the bottle of liquid excitedly. "Wait here, I'll go and..." He skipped back inside.

"Oh Coach" he sang, returning to her table. When they say love makes you blind, they weren't kidding, he thought, as he poured the love potion into to his coach's wine in plain sight of her. Except she was too busy feasting her eyes on the young tennis player to notice.

"Have some wine," he cooed. Pretending that he had left something in the washroom, he slipped out of the restaurant, leaving Coach Ryuzaki to look confusedly around. And pay the bill.

"Now, at last, we can be together," a ecstatic Inui took Eiji's cheeks tenderly in his hands.

Eiji also placed his hands on Inui's face--and forced the love juice into his mouth again once he'd gotten a good grip.

"What happened? What am I doing here?" As in the case of Oishi, Inui had no idea what he was doing standing in front of a first class restaurant with his hands cupping Eiji's face. Hands which he quickly removed.

"Believe me," Eiji said dryly. "You dont want to know."

Looking down, Inui recognised the bottle in Eiji's hand. "True," he agreed. "I don't."

They parted ways a short while afterwards. Momo and Kaidoh were nowhere to be found. Eiji gave them up as a bad job. They hated each other enough in essentials to prevent anything from actually happening before the potion wore off, anyway.

He was very interested in seeing how everyone was the next day.

Tezuka was very puzzled to find all the pamphlets about wedding gowns and suits in his bag, something which he mentioned to Fuji, who looked more petrified than puzzled and immediately scooted off to a far away corner, much to the captain's perplexity.

Momo was accusing Kaidoh of kidnapping him, having found himself sleeping on the couch at the bandana wearing boy's home. Kaidoh was too busy yelling back at Momo that he didnt notice Echizen's face grow white on spotting his senpai.

"Eveyone come over here!" Coach Ryuzaki called after they'd finished their afternoon practice. "I've got a surprise for you as a reward for working so hard today."

"Yes! A surprise!" Eiji was the first to bound over, eagerly awaiting whatever it was that his coach had in store for them.

"Help yourselves!" She stepped to one side, revealing Inui, who was holding up a platter with a couple dozen cup on it, all filled to the brim.

Filled to the brim with a pink substance.

"NOOOOOOO!" Eiji ran from the court, screaming.

The others watched him go.

"That's strange," Oishi said. "I thought he liked strawberry milkshake."

Shrugging their shoulders, the regulars took their share of the drink.

In a dark corner, Inui sniggered, holding up the bottle of pale pink juice, which was half empty. None of the other regulars noticed the light, transparent swirls in their milkshakes.

"This is going to be excellent data," Inui murmured.


	3. Ending Two: Oh, What The Heck?

**Ending Two: Oh, What The Heck?**

Skipping off to an adjoining tennis court, Eiji found Tezuka leading Fuji in some romantic lap running.

Old habits die hard, even when you're in love.

Fuji was already out of breath and panting hard, but Tezuka somehow managed to drag him along. "Keep going, Syusuke. You do want to keep your gorgeous figure, don't you?"

There was now open bewilderment on Fuji's face--not to mention utter exhaustion.

"Te--Tezuka, it's almost s--sundown. Wh--when can we s--stop?" The tensai was about ready to drop.

"How many times have I told you, call me Kunimitsu!" The captain hit Fuji playfully on the back, nearly knocking the shorter boy down. "You want to stop, Syusuke? Then let us go register for our marriage. I know this perfect church--"

Eiji distinctly saw Fuji's knees buckle. "Er, Te--Kunimitsu, I'm, um, beginning to enjoy jogging, so why don't we go on for a while more?"

"Ah, Syusuke, I knew I could instill in you a passion for running laps. Since it pleases you, let us go for another hundred round the tennis courts. I would run till I dropped for your sweet sake. I would..."

Tezuka began another long rant. It was the closest to crying that Fuji had come in a long time.

Eiji's utter delight was punctured slightly by pity for the long suffering prodigy. "Oh well, how was I to know that Tezuka mistreats even those that he loves?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Ah! Buchou! Uh, I uh, I..." The quaking Eiji took a step back.

"How DARE you say that I'm mistreating Syusuke? Tell him, Syusuke!" Tezuka reached out, caught Fuji's arm and threw the poor boy into Eiji's face. Literally.

Well, not really, since Fuji fell down on the way, so it was more like throwing him at Eiji's feet.

"Of--of course you haven't mistreated me, Kuni--" the battered tensai choked out, picking himself up and tottering over to a bench.

But the irate captain wasn't listening. He had grabbed Eiji by the collar and was now threatening him with a thousand laps. For starters. A thousand more if Eiji didn't make it through the first ones.

"Buchou!" Eiji whined, ready to get on his knees if necessary. "I'm sorry! I know you'd never treat any of us badly, and make us run as many laps as Syus--I mean, make us run laps. Just please, please don't--"

BANG!

"Whoa!" Tezuka had gone from furious to fainted in less than two seconds, and since he was still clutching Eiji's shirt when he dropped, Eiji was dragged down with him.

The reason for Tezukas sudden black out? Easy. The sight of Coach Ryuzaki--in a black cocktail dress--standing over the two boys holding the broom she had used to hit Tezuka over the head with, explained everything.

If Tezuka had had the time to yell out "You old witch!" before he had fainted, it would totally have been justified.

"That'll teach you not to bully my Eiji!" she snarled into the ear of what--half an hour ago--had been her most trusted tennis player. For once, the cat like boy was glad that she had shown up.

"Eiji dear, I've booked an expensive restaurant downtown where we can have dinner together! How do I look?" the coach twirled herself around.

Eiji muttered something indistinct. "Wait a moment." He ran over to Fuji. "Nya, are you ok?"

"Yeah, now that Tezuka's out cold." Fuji wiped his forehead. "Just make sure I'm out of the country when he wakes up. I don't want him killing the marriage registration officials for telling him that we're too young."

"Nya," Eiji mumbled. "I'm sure the effects of the potion won't last too long. I mean, everyone wakes up in a few hours after drinking Inui's usual juice..."

"What did you say?" Fuji's eyes snapped open. He looked at the unconscious Tezuka, who was being prodded in the ribs by his coach. "He's under the effect of Inui's vegetable juice?"

"Erm, well, kind of...though he's so like his normal self that I wonder if he's acting under free will...But he _did_ drink the juice, so that should be why," Eiji said hurriedly, not wanting to terrorize Fuji any further.

"I think we'd better put him somewhere to sleep it out then. Preferably somewhere we can lock."

They ended up dragging the captain back into the changing room, where they left him lying on a bench. "He's the one who needs to run laps," grumbled a weary Fuji. "_How_ he can talk to me about my figure when _he's_..."

Coach Ryuzaki was a little more difficult to tackle. After convincing her to slip back into her normal clothes--a big sacrifice on Eijis part, since he was the one who had to say she looked absolutely stunning in a sports jacket--they let the wine that they had found in her office do its work.

Eiji had to escort a very jumpy Fuji home before retiring back to his own house. He thought it was best not to mention Momo or Kaidoh to the tensai, who had just begun to relax.

The next morning, Fuji was outside the door when Eiji left for school. The redhead diagnosed him with a completely new illness. Tezuka-phobia.

"_Fine_," he said fiercely once they had reached the school gates. "I'll see how your future husband--no, just _kidding_, don't cry--is feeling before you come in. Now stay here and stop _whimpering_!"

Eiji cautiously approached his captain. "Bu--buchou...um...how are you today?"

"I'm fi--"

"Where is every one else?" Both Eiji and Tezuka jumped back at the sight of their coach. "What's the matter with you two? I'm not going to hit you over the head with a broom!"

"Ah..."

Tezuka looked mildly puzzled after the coach had left. "Surely it was a dream...she wouldn't have...and she doesn't own a cocktail dress." But then he rubbed a very visible bump on his head.

"What's the matter, buchou?" Eiji ventured.

"I've lost my memory for the whole of yesterday--"

Eiji sighed in relief.

"But I've reason to suspect that you were the cause of my splitting headache when I for some reason woke up in the changing rooms last night. Eiji, fifty laps."

Sighing again, this time for totally different reasons, Eiji began his laps. He would probably look as bad as Fuji did the day before when he finished, but at least things were back to normal.

Except, of course, the fact that he started running out of rooms, screaming, whenever anything remotely pale pink resided there.


End file.
